5 Crops That Killed it in 2014

2014 was a year that saw some pretty smashing short crops (no, I’m not talking about you, Miss Scarlett!). And you know something that I noticed? These Pixie Cuts all look like they’d be relatively easy to style — whether it’s Lupita’s natural texture, Audrey’s tousled waves, or a headband and copious amounts of hairspray a la Charlize. Let’s review — and keep our fingers crossed that 2015 brings some more Pixie Awesomeness!

Lupita killed it, she really did, she just killed it in 2014  in so many, many ways, and here are just three of them (courtesy of InStyle.com)

Lupita killed it, she really did, she just killed it in 2014 in so many, many ways, and here are just three of them (courtesy of InStyle.com)

Audrey Tautou, let's file this one in the Yes, Yes, a Thousand Times Yes Category.

Audrey Tautou, let’s file this one in the Yes, Yes, a Thousand Times Yes Category.

Maggie Gyllenhaal was at the Sundance Film Festival promoting something or someone called "Frank" and FRANKLY, she looked gawgeous!

Maggie Gyllenhaal was at the Sundance Film Festival promoting something or someone called “Frank” and FRANKLY, she looked gawgeous!

Lena Dunham was, without question, our fave cover girl of 2014.

Lena Dunham was, without question, our fave cover girl of 2014.

I THOUGHT I knew where Charlize Theron was going with her short crop, and then she added a little headband and a whole lot of volume and I was all, Wow.

I THOUGHT I knew where Charlize Theron was going with her short crop, and then she added a little headband and a whole lot of volume and I was all, Wow.

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Channel Your Inner Twiggy!

Courtesy of That Cheap Bitch, you too can channel your inner Twiggy!

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And why wouldn’t you want to? These are fun and easy makeup and hair tips that are inspired by everyone’s favorite mod, 70s icon, who somehow managed to look androgynous and gorgeously feminine all at the same time.

Click here for the tutorial. And thank you so much for sharing, TCB!

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The Golden Pixie Award…

… goes to Maggie Gyllenhaal on last night’s Golden Globe Awards. She looked so beautiful! My hair’s been getting kind of long, and seeing how fresh and healthy and shiny Maggie’s beautiful, slightly wavy crop looked… well, it made me want to reach for the buzz clippers!

Maggie Gyllenhaal

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Completely Unnecessary Post About Michelle Williams’ Hair

michellemarilyn1Sometimes I just don’t get why some articles get to go live and why some pitches loiter, unused and going off-trend, gradually turning to dust.

When I think of the GOLD (gold, I tell you) I have pitched, only to be ignored, and then something like this runs on the Huffington Post: Michelle Williams’ Short Hair is a Thing of the Past.

Um, yeah, no shit, Sherlock (Sherlock!).

I’m only reposting to get further away from my dreadful, egg-on-the-face #cumbermoment where I declared Benedict Cumberbatch’s engagement to be a sham, only for the happy couple to announce their imminent #cumberbaby just one day later.

Also, if there’s anything that the Huff Post article does have to offer, is a slideshow on Michelle Williams evolving looks, plus a great shot of her with a Pixie Cut, and a current, paparazzi-type, don’t-look-at-me photo that shows how kinda ordinary-looking she is with long hair.

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This is Why I Think Benedict Cumberbatch’s Engagement is a Sham

Update: Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter are reportedly expecting their first #Cumberbaby. This is what f*cking happens when I deviate from the Pixie Program, isn’t it? Sigh. Back to our regularly scheduled programming…..

WE INTERRUPT OUR USUAL PIXIE PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL REPORT.

ben3

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Cumberjury,

I’ve been reluctant to share this theory of mine with anyone because I was concerned I would be accused of haterism.

Yes, I am a Cumberbitch, but when BC announced his engagement to Sophie Hunter, I was actually glad that he picked someone close to his own age who is cool-looking and striking instead of, say, a twenty-year-old model from the Ukraine. Or Kate Hudson. Please, not Kate Hudson. A twenty-year-old model would be preferable to Kate Hudson.

But after poring over the evidence, I am convinced that this upcoming marriage is one of convenience, not love. Ambition, not romance. In fact, I think in a few decades, when we’re all old and feeble, someone will come out with Benedict: The Unauthorized Biography, and it will reveal that this was, in fact, a sham, and I’m going to raise up my liver-spotted hand so that I can high-five my sister.

Please, Cumberpeople, I ask you: examine the evidence and decide for yourselves.

EXHIBIT A

BC and Sophie Hunter met while shooting the 2009 film Burlesque Fairytales. BC was dating actress Olivia Poulet until they broke up in 2010. We’re to believe, what, post-Poulet, BC fell in love and surreptitiously dated Sophie Hunter from then until now and yet were only photographed one time during the past five+ years? Why, then, was BC photographed with other women, like (ugh) model Katia Elizarova in 2013?

mirror.co.uk

mirror.co.uk

Or the “mystery redhead,” also in 2013?

huffingtonpost.co.uk

huffingtonpost.co.uk

Hmm, BC looks like he’s having fun, right? Catchin’ some rays with the model while she wears something skimpy and peers over his shoulder. Or holding hands with the redhead.

He looked really lovey-dovey with Olivia Poulet when they were together, too:

theatre.wooller.com

theatre.wooller.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aww!

So when he was finally photographed with Sophie Hunter, he must have looked like he was having a lot of fun too, right?

No. He did not look like he was having fun. Neither did she.

EXHIBIT B

dailymail.co.uk

dailymail.co.uk

 

But then they got engaged. They must have been really happy, right? Did they look like this?

usweekly.com

usweekly.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or how about this:

bet.com

bet.com

 

I know! They looked like this:

digitalspy.com

digitalspy.com

EXHIBIT C

Actually, at their first public appearance post-engagement, they looked like…. this:

celebuzz.com

celebuzz.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cue: wah-waaaaaaaahhh noise.

But then they just made another public appearance in Palm Springs and the Web was all “THE LOOK OF LOVE” and “AFFECTIONATE DISPLAY” and “BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AND FIANCEE SOPHIE HUNTER LOOKED LOVED UP” and yet they looked like… this:

dailymail.co.uk

dailymail.co.uk

Saying they look “loved up” is the epitome of hawking up a big loogie, spitting it at me, and then telling me it’s raining.

So who is Sophie Hunter, anyway?

EXHIBIT D

Sophie Hunter was an unsuccessful actress. Hey, that sounds harsher than I mean it to be. After all, I was an unsuccessful actress too! Here she is in 2004’s Vanity Fair:

imdb.com

imdb.com

See her over there? No, not Jim Broadbent, dummy. Over there. In the corner. On the left.

Here she is in Friends & Crocodiles (also 2004) with SGT. NICHOLAS BRODY!!

dailymail.co.uk

dailymail.co.uk

Yeesh. She still looks like she’s having more fun than she was at that tennis game with BC.

You could tell, though, she was trying really hard to make the stardom thing happen:

avaxsearch.org

avaxsearch.org

But it just didn’t work out. Wikipedia describes her as a “a British theatre and opera director, playwright, actress, and singer.”

Uh-oh. Sounds like someone is still finding herself!

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

But now she’s found a celebrity to marry, instead…

EXHIBIT E

BC reportedly just looked at this gazillion dollar mansion in L.A.:

dailymail.co.uk

dailymail.co.uk

It’s got nine and a half bathrooms (gotta love that half bathroom, in case the other nine won’t do) and a gym, a library, a movie theater, blah, blah, blah. The point is, it tells me the guy wants to be a mega-star.

EXHIBIT F

Look, I don’t know the why of it all. Maybe it’s because awards season is coming up and BC wants a lady on his arm and has no intention of showing up at the Oscars like this:

tumblr.com

tumblr.com

 

Not that there is anything wrong with looking like that.

Maybe he’s hip to the fact that the public loves engagements and weddings and babies and just relationships in general:

weddings

I don’t have all the answers.

But I think — I hope — Sherlock would be proud of me.

This took a lot of time in my Mind Palace.

 

997983dc577cc1ebd1cf374feef59772.jpg

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Three Great Looks from Charlize

Charlize is growing out her Pixie Cut, and she looks simply smashing! Oh yeah, and she’s engaged to Sean Penn. But let’s not dwell on that.

Screen Shot 2014-12-31 at 9.49.52 AMYou know which look I love best? The casual, wavy crop with her cute sweater and button-down.

 

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Hello, Flawless

1418505584_lupita-nyongo-gI was looking at this picture on Us Weekly of Lupita Nyong’o.

She went to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Theater at NYC’s City Center.

And she is just perfection.

That’s all I wanted to say.

Okay, if I were going to say one more thing, it would be that I f*cking love that little headband.

I want one!

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It’s Like a Blog Written Just 4 Pixies!

OMG OMG OMG I am LOVING That Cheap Bitch blog. I feel like it was made for me and therefore, you’ll feel like it was made for you too, because it is a site that embodies that certain DIY-moxie-derring-do that is Pixie personified.

It’s ALL awesome, but I am feeling very excited about 5 Pixie Cut Hairstyles You Can Achieve in 5 Minutes. It’s totally adorbs and the pictures are pure Pixie Inspiration.

finished-boufant-2

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Remember the time…

Rachel Weisz had a Pixie Cut?

968full-rachel-weisz

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Flashback Friday: Winona Ryder

Girl-Interrupted-Winona-Ryder-girl-interrupted-16255969-852-480-640x360The 1999 movie Girl, Interrupted was based on the book of the same name by Susanna Kaysen. Best-selling book…. award-winning movie… mental illness… Angelina Jolie… etc. etc.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, will you look at that haircut? And that all-important Pixcessory, the striped tee? And that sulky expression?

Love. 

And do we know how to prioritize here on Pixie Forever, or what?

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